''why do you always give in to me?''
''cause i love you. cause i want you to be happy. cause i'm happy when you're happy''

i cried.

appointment 4

we all have good nurturing and protective qualities.
sometimes we forget or it was too minor for us to notice.
but we do have and it's just the extent that's in us.
just think of one instance for every of the qualities.
there will be at least once.

appointment 3

hi sweetheart, how old are you?
why are you wearing a mask?
to protect myself
but you are not happy
have you done your part to protect joy?
there is no need for the mask because
it didnt serve its purpose

when can i ever get out of this SHIT feeling.
ARGHH.

it's at rock bottom.
no words said today.
not even an A turns my mood around.
someone help.

what does two and a half boil down to?
i hope it meant something

i thought God had abandoned me long ago
since the day i drifted
since the day i decided to not go to church
since the day i stopped praying.
he has been good enough
to give me a very supportive mum
who stood and still stands by me
in peril times.
at my most down in the middle of the night
she slept on the floor by my bed
to assure me of her love
and took leave the next
to make sure i'm alright when i wake

' if god doesn't love you, He wouldn't wake me up
in the middle of the night to go see to joy'

it is time like this
we make each other feel important

i have lost the old you for good.
i am
lost for words.

appointment 1

life is actually beautiful.
love is actually a bonus,
not something we deserve.
pills make a girl ugly.

i am feeling the worst alive.
from everyone.
WHY.