i hope you could stay out of my head
for as long as it can be
i picked up the phone but...
i dont know
i miss you a lot
i really pray this wouldn't be the end of us

i saw you turn your back.
you ran.
my heart broke.
i tried so hard to hold back the tears.
on the bus in the train and on the bus home.
why have two closest people turned into strangers overnight.
mummy said we really need time away to heal.
my heart still yearns so much for you.
i hope you'll be alright.

today i battled with the suicide demon.
again.
when no one's around i need to tell myself
live for the people who love me and for those i love.
for my mum for grace for faith for emmanuel.
i need a direction.
god please help me.

do we all have to take full responsibility of our emotions?
total. full. absolute.
what about times when we were provoked to anger?
what about those tears because we got hurled at?
who are we to point the finger at?
truth is, no one cares. even when you say he caused it.
i'm learning to bear it all. still learning.
when i can't hold out, someone please hold onto me.

this is my first post for the new year-
negative, like myself.